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Pack plenty of clothes, pajamas, and undergarments for you and the kids. Buy extra toothbrushes and toothpaste, and travel shampoos and soaps. Make sure to pack up some of the kids' favorite toys, stuffed animals or dolls, an iPad, and books so they'll have activities to do when you arrive at destination.
Every chance you get, put money aside. You never know when you will have access to family funds again once you leave. Open up a bank account in your name only. If you have a family inheritance coming to you, make sure it is in your name alone..
Gather passports, birth certificates, medical and dental records, insurance cards, records for beloved pets, and any other important documents for you and your children.
Find a safe house or shelter and contact them in advance, in case you need to flee there suddenly. If you decide you will instead stay at a relative's home where your partner would not expect to find you, talk to them first to make sure it's ok and that they understand the implications or your situation.
Get court paperwork ahead of time and fill it out in case you need to appear before a judge. Ask your lawyer/court-appointed lawyer and a representative from an organization like the YWCA Women's Crisis Center to accompany you to any hearings. Get the new "VictimsVoice app on your phone to methodically gather evidence for abuse.
Consider talking to your older children about the possibility of fleeing your situation with them. Sometimes older kids will have a strong reaction to a sudden decision to flee and go somewhere else. Younger children tend to cooperate more and ask less questions.
No one can tell you whether you should remain in your present situation or find a way to flee from danger. Only you know the nuances of your relationship and the potential harm that can come from either staying or leaving. There are often children involved and potential custody battles and/or arrangements to consider, and sometimes you need to choose the lesser of two evils. Sadly, there are no pat answers in the world of domestic violence and partner betrayal.
This community offers support, encouragement, resources, information, referrals, and powerful tools to help you make the right decisions for your family. We are glad you are here and pray that God will give you wisdom as you navigate the ins and outs of your own reality. May you feel His strength and be kept by His unparalleled grace in every moment of every day!
You Are Brave
With God by your side, you are never alone. Jesus, Who showed nothing but love, compassion, and grace to every woman He ever encountered during His earthly ministry, will take care of you. He has seen every tears, every heartache, every fear. He knows the "stuff" you are made of. He can heal your past, help you in the present, and give you a future and hope for your tomorrows. Rest in His loving arms today. Ask Him for wisdom. He will not turn you away. His grace will always be more than enough. He will guide you and help you as you walk down paths you would never have chosen for yourself.
We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves. We can rest in the arms of Jesus and learn to trust that, although men have failed us, he never will. His very Name is Faithful and True!
God is with you!