"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete."

You've heard the old saying, “put on your own oxygen mask first"? Whether you are anticipating leaving or feel you must stay in a difficult situation, it is so important that you get adequate rest, eat healthy foods, see your doctor regularly, take vitamin and mineral supplements, and unwind at the end of a stressful day. . .at least as much as you are able! 

Do it for your sake, and for the

 sake of your children. 

Draw yourself a hot bath with some essential oils or healthy salts. Invest in a sound machine and a salt lamp to place by your bedside to help you relax at night. Make sure you take time to be quiet and still and do deep breathing exercises daily.

Grab a treat and watch a chick flick. Read a good book. Do things that relax you ~ work on a puzzle, go for a walk, sip some herbal tea, call a friend. Find ways to bring rest and comfort to your soul. 

When you are in a state of trauma, you need to take mini vacations from the stress of your situation. Getting out of the house with supportive friends will refresh your soul and help you face daily challenges. You don't need to plan a big getaway! There are endless possibilities for lovely day trips, and what's better than a fun movie night when you can take a break from your stressors and just laugh with those who best understand you! 

There is no substitute 

for good friends!

Plan a "high tea" and have fun decorating the table for the occasion. Buy tickets to a theatre production and go out to dinner before or after. Plan a craft night. Go bowling! In the midst of your trauma you may have forgotten how to step away from your troubles and just have fun. Friends can help you laugh and to remember who you are, aside from your most taxing roles.

We all need times when we can unplug form the normal stressors in our lives and find a quiet place to recharge. It is hard for most women to justify this time, but it is truly necessary. Some phone apps that may help you relax and be refreshed while you keep track of your mental and emotional state are:

 We all need times when we can unplug form the normal stressors in our lives and find a quiet place to recharge. It is hard for most women to justify this time, but it is truly necessary. Some phone apps that may help you relax and be refreshed, and keep track of your physical, mental, and emotional state are:

The Pause App

Emoods

Mindfuness Coach

Headspace

ThinkUp

BetterMe

MyFitnessPal

Breathe2Relax

 Invest in an essential oil diffuser. Buy some healthy soy candles. Purchase a squeezable stress reliever. 

Get a weighted blanket. 

Creating a safe, cozy, and comforting space you can retreat to is ultra important when you are processing trauma!

There are many treatments and exercise programs that effectively diminish trauma. EMDR, Brain Spotting, Neurofeedback, Massage, Acupuncture, Salt Caves, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures, saunas, far infrared sauna, aromatherapy, yoga, pilates, and Oxycise, to name a few. The more complex your trauma, the more you need physical aids that can calm down your nervous system and adrenal glands.  

Find the right counselor or therapist who is qualified to help you, and a support group in your area where you feel connected and understood. There are also phenomenal online support groups if there are none in your area. We offer guidelines here to help you know what to look for in a counselor or in a group. There is a list below of organizations to guide you to the right support.

Pursue activities that help you develop your unique gifts and talents. What makes you smile? Further education? Crafts? Painting? The outdoors? Traveling? Community Theatre? Music Lessons? 

Although you may be tempted to be reclusive, try to engage in activities that refresh your spirit and light up your weary soul. There is nothing wrong with retreating to a safe space to rest and refresh your soul, but getting out of the house can be just as important.