Hope and Healing for your invisible hurts
Wild and Free
Deciding to Stay or Leave
No one can tell you whether you should remain in your present situation or find a way to flee from danger. Only you know the nuances of your relationship and the potential harm that can come from either staying or leaving. There are often children involved and potential custody battles and/or arrangements to consider, and sometimes you need to choose the lesser of two evils. Sadly, there are no pat answers in the world of domestic violence and partner betrayal.
This community offers support, encouragement, resources, information, referrals, and powerful tools to help you make the right decisions for your family. We are glad you are here and pray that God will give you wisdom as you navigate the ins and outs of your own reality. May you feel His strength and be kept by His unparalleled grace in every moment of every day!
You Are Brave
"I will never leave you, nor forsake you." ~Jesus
Alone, But Not Alone
With God by your side, you are never alone. Jesus, Who showed nothing but love, compassion, and grace to every woman He ever encountered during His earthly ministry, will take care of you. He has seen every tears, every heartache, every fear. He knows the "stuff" you are made of. He can heal your past, help you in the present, and give you a future and hope for your tomorrows. Rest in His loving arms today. Ask Him for wisdom. He will not turn you away. His grace will always be more than enough. He will guide you and help you as you walk down paths you would never have chosen for yourself.
We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves. We can rest in the arms of Jesus and learn to trust that, although men have failed us, he never will. His very Name is Faithful and True!
God is with you!
Site Content
Crazymaking
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PTSD
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C-PTSD
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Blame Shifting
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Spiritual Abuse
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Victim Mentality
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Glosseary of Terms
Domestic Violence
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Betrayal Trauma
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Prodependency
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Gaslighting
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Projection
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Minimizing
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Go to www.flyingfreenow.com for Natalie's podcast/bl0g
Natalie Hoffman
Natalie Hoffman
Natalie Hoffman
About Natalie
I wrote the book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage along with a companion workbook for small groups to go through together. (Want the first chapters of these two books free? Hop on my mailing list HERE!)
I started the Flying Free podcast in January of 2019 where I answer listener questions and interview experts and survivors on the issues involved in recognizing and healing from emotional and spiritual abuse.
I developed the Flying Free Sisterhood program that offers classes, expert workshops, weekly live coaching, a private forum for survivors, and so much more. This group is designed to gently and compassionately take women from crawling to flying within one year.We were made to live as adults, fulfilling our God-given destiny. We were made for a life of peace and joy and abundance in our souls.
Done everything you know to do?
- You’ve read marriage books (a STACK of them), and you’ve tried everything they say: Showed him more respect. Started speaking ALL FIVE love languages. Showed him you cared enough to have sex on his terms.
- You’ve sought “wise counsel” from people at your church. From elders. People who KNOW the Bible. You’re trying to get answers, but they just don’t see what’s really happening. (… which makes you feel more invisible).
- YOU can see that you’ve grown, in spite of the pressure. You’re more kind. More forgiving. But it’s getting harder to forgive, harder to keep your cool when you feel like lashing out at his accusations (LORD, please give me patience!)
- …And it’s tough to admit, but when you’re honest? It’s not getting better.
It's getting worse…
But what if…
What if you didn’t NEED the approval of others to feel confident that you can make good decisions for you and your kids?
What if you had a group of friends that understood your marriage problems and could offer the support and acceptance you crave? Friends that have your back and will love and respect the choices you’re making?
...and what if you had a way of dealing with your old hurts and baggage so you can deprogram from the lies that are keeping you stuck - to start walking with confidence and hope?
Imagine not being afraid of the future because you had the self-awareness, skills, confidence, and freedom to make adult decisions.
(You feel like you could do this if you weren't so alone...)
Natalie's Book
Natalie Hoffman
Natalie Hoffman
The Book
“Why do concerns I bring up never seem to be resolved? Why do I feel like Charlie Brown, flat on his back from having the football snatched away? Why, when I bring up a concern, do I always end up justifying my existence or being the one to apologize? How do things seem to get turned around on me?”
“I feel like I walk on eggshells, and I’m scared of his reactions to grievances I express, so I keep them to myself.”
“I knew something was off for years but didn’t know what it was exactly. I knew that we were different - I would hear of other husbands supporting their wives in pursuing their dreams and be absolutely blown away. I would hear of husbands encouraging their wives to go out with friends and not be able to relate at all. I would hear of decisions being made mutually and not understand how that even looked.”
“I remember as a young wife thinking, ‘Is this normal? Does everyone feel this way? Maybe this is why old wives seem bitter?’ It wasn’t until year seven that I finally acknowledged something was wrong, and there wasn’t anything I could change to make it better. It was years 15 to 24 that I became unsure of reality and questioned my sanity.”
“He always apologizes after looking at porn or after blowing up at me or the kids. But nothing ever changes. And he gets mad if we don’t ‘forgive and forget.’”
“He was a mechanic by trade, yet I was afraid to tell him whenever the car was acting up or making a noise. He would tell me he didn’t want me putting miles on my car, so I would tell friends ‘no’ anytime they wanted me to come see them. I acted like a little kid afraid to ask permission to do stuff.”
“Nobody yells ‘Emergency! Call 911!’ or ‘Divorce!’ with all those tiny little ‘Hmmmm, that’s-a-bit-off?’ moments or maybe the ‘Ouch! He hurt me!’ scenes or the ‘What the heck was THAT all about?’ confusing moments that pile up over a period of years. All those tiny little pieces of the puzzle are things you just toss out with the trash because you’re too forgiving, too patient, too loving, too empathetic, too kind, too giving, too enamored with him - until you start to secretly collect them and put the real pieces of the puzzle (the truth) together and see a much clearer picture.”
One out of three married women sitting in an average conservative Christian church is in a confusing and painful marriage relationship. These women believe they are alone. I want them to know they aren't. They believe they can't find peace. I want them to know they can. They believe they don't have choices. I want them to know they do.
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