Helpful articles & Recommended reading

by Johnson & VanVonderen

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse uncovers the sad truth about abusive religious systems, the impact of controlling leadership on a congregation, and how the abused believer can find rest and recovery.

by Natalie Hoffman

One out of three married women sitting in an average conservative Christian church is in a confusing and painful marriage relationship. These women believe they are alone. I want them to know they aren't. They believe they can't find peace. I want them to know they can. They believe they don't have choices. I want them to know they do.

by Lundy Bancroft

He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship

by Patricia Evans 

by Shannon Thomas, LCSW

Within every community, toxic people can be found hiding in families, couples, companies, and places of worship. The cryptic nature of psychological abuse involves repetitious mind games played by one individual or a group of people. Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.

by Jan Frank

Victims of abuse-any abuse-need to know how other people have made it through the recovery process. As a victim of incest herself, Jan Frank understands the myriad emotions that victims struggle with and offers ten proven stops toward recovery in Door of Hope.

Only when you and your mate know and respect each other's needs, choices, and freedom can you give yourselves freely and lovingly to one another.

Boundaries are the "property lines" that define and protect husbands and wives as individuals. Once they are in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved.

by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

by Sherri Keffer

Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that the man she loves has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out.

by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means

Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means' personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships.

by Amy Lewis Bear

The lack of language to identify emotional abuse and its aftermath among couples is a major barrier to recognition and treatment. From Charm to Harm breaks down this barrier by providing simple words and definitions that name and explain harmful interactions between intimate partners. Many of these interactions, although emotionally toxic, are hard to distinguish from the normal experience of being in a relationship. From Charm to Harm will empower you to recognize and describe the psychological destruction wrought by an intimate partner who claims to love you

by Jocelyn Anderson

This groundbreaking book on gender, slavery and the "evangelical caste system", examines misogynistic Bible translation and commentary, which has adversely effected understanding of the scriptures, relations between women and men, happiness of men and women, and hindered the work of the gospel. The reader is educated about historic parallels between the twin causes of abolition and women’s rights, while the history of women’s rights is traced back much further, to the very first feminists…who were Christians—godly women who brought the issue of women's rights to the forefront as they struggled to alleviate the suffering of others, and found they were hindered in doing so for no other reason than the fact of their sex. This book, provides valuable historical insight into Christian initiatives in the movements for women’s rights, that are rarely included in Christian literature.

by Cindy Burrell

"God Is My Witness" is a unique biblical exposé on the subject of Christian divorce. Author and abuse survivor Cindy Burrell takes the reader far beyond the traditional church script, tearing down the walls of legalism to lead us back to the passionate, personal heart of God.

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The Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma 

How to use writing to recover from emotional abuse

A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma

What we don't know about domestic violence can kill us. 

The painful true story of child abuse suffered at the hands of her father, which she testified about in  court, spending her abuser to jail for many years.

If you have suffered spiritual abuse from a toxic church, toxic organization, or toxic leader, your trust has been broken. You entrusted your life to someone you thought would care for you: someone who initially inspired you to know God, only to reject you in the end. Now you are left wounded and disillusioned, wondering if you can ever trust others, yourself, or possibly even God, again.

By placing individual experience in a broader political frame, Harvard psychiatrist Judith Herman argues that psychological trauma is inseparable from its social and political context. Drawing on her own research on incest, as well as a vast literature on combat veterans and victims of political terror, she shows surprising parallels between private horrors like child abuse and public horrors like war. 

"God Is My Witness" is a unique biblical exposé on the subject of Christian divorce. Author and abuse survivor Cindy Burrell takes the reader far beyond the traditional church script, tearing down the walls of legalism to lead us back to the passionate, personal heart of God.

Why Is He So Mean to Me? Authored by abuse survivor Cindy Burrell, “Why Is He So Mean to Me?” unravels the confusing and chaotic world of verbal and emotional abuse. The book walks the reader through the debilitating characteristics of the enabler-abuser relationship, clearly revealing the abuser mindset and the abuser’s most common tactics. It also provides an in-depth look at the victim’s efforts to earn her abuser’s love and explains why those efforts so often fail, how an abuser will likely respond when her responses change, and how to see through his mind games and traps.

Expressive Writing: Words that Heal provides research results, in layman's terms, which demonstrate how and when expressive writing can improve health. It explains why writing can often be more helpful than talking when dealing with trauma, and it prepares the reader for their writing experience. The book looks at the most serious issues and helps the reader process them. From the instructions: ''Write about what keeps you awake at night. The emotional upheaval bothering you the most and keeping you awake at night is a good place to start writing.''

In this inspiring book, based on her twenty years of research, highly acclaimed author and teacher Louise DeSalvo reveals the healing power of writing. DeSalvo shows how anyone can use writing as a way to heal the emotional and physical wounds that are an inevitable part of life. Contrary to what most self-help books claim, just writing won't help you; in fact, there's abundant evidence that the wrong kind of writing can be damaging.

An attachment-focused model, prodependence recognizes that no one can ever love too much, nor should anyone be pathologized for whomever they choose to love as is often the case. Prodependence informs caregivers how to love more effectively, but without having to bear a negative label for the valuable support they give. 

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If you suspect you are an abused women of faith, you struggle like other abused women, but your faith may be used against you....You pray. You obey. You believe. You love. You hope he will change.  But the pressures keep building- mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and perhaps even physically.  
 
In Batteredin the Name of God , the author shares the tools she used to escape abusewith a strongerfaith in God. A 30-year veteran educator and counselor, shestudiedchurch responses to battered women of faith, along with 14 years ofBible study, theology and philosophy.
 
"This self-help workbook moves recovery forward byclarifying how faith ismisused to sanction abuse. It presents a new paradigmfor working withthese issues. I recommend her innovative and original methodsfor anyone, professional or lay person, interested in pursuing freedom andhealingfrom abuse underwritten by appeals to religious concepts."
 
-  LeonProbasco, Board Certified Diplomate, Psychiatric Social Work

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